Last Semester Blues, A bittersweet Nolstagia

People will always say that the four campus years are the best in your life, such a fairy tale.  So many challenges all along; financial constraints, missing marks of stubborn professors who can't even reply to an email (apologies) 378 heartbreaks after over 400 trial boyfriends and five sneaky links, Roommates' incompatibility, just to mention a few.

I personally feel like campus is the most depressing places you can ever be. You come here so fresh, but by the time you getting your degree, it's accompanied by a number of traumas. You can't be at peace here, it's either you've been heartbroken, your Nicodemus has left for a fresha, you hustling for missing marks or maybe your mpesa got nothing. Something, something must be disturbing.

But regardless, we keep hopes that things will get better once school is over. Something that I've not been believing in lately. I am a final year Journalism and Media student at Moi University and lemme say that this last semester seems a pain in the ass. As I hit that "Register courses" button, I sighed and felt so relieved, but then nolstagic. Have I just registered for my last semester?

Thoughts of finishing school started sucking. Everybody is asking what are your plans, what's your exit strategy, how many personalities do you know in the media industry. Then there you are, your background? Pathetic. Your mother a peasant farmer, your father a mason, you've nobody in the field to call a relative, and then school is ending. Depressing, right?

Again, this semester feels so emotional. It  carries a melancholic melody, echoing the bittersweet symphony of farewells. The once bustling halls now will whisper tales of memories etched in time.  It's hard to accept the fact that this is  the last dance before the curtain falls on this chapter of our lives. 

Just as these campus trees shed their leaves, that's how we will  shed the familiarity. We are leaving behind the cocoon of academia to face the unknown. The excitement of what lies beyond is tinged with the realization that the comforting routine of campus life is coming to an end. Each lecture I'm attending and every CAT I'm gonna do feels like a farewell to a version of myself that  I'll  never fully reclaim. How many times will I shout depressing?

Now, the pressure to secure a future competes with the desire to savor the present. I'm personally terrified. Scared of what the next six months of my life after school will look like. Scared that the reality might be sad but I'll have to face it, it's time now I start distributing my 2-paged CV and have it ignored (maybe).  

This semester? Is a delicate dance between academics and the bittersweet nostalgia of every "last" – the last lecture, the last coffee at the campus cafe, the last sunset over the familiar skyline. Wonder if anyone else is feeling like this.

But, I've written this for you and me. We have to be beginners at times in this life. Hang in there, the universe will align.

Byee.